Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
