girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
