She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
