i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
