party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I wear drunk well.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
