i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
