can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
