i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
