You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
