is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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