she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
