Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
