I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
