I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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