Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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