So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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