I just made out with a guy for $7.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We have started to decorate penises.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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