Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
