Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
