i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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