So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
