he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize