sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize