he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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