I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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