did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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