i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
