dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
