So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How naked do you want me to be?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
