Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
