weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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