Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
