I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
