That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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