so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
