I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
