youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
