This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
