you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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