She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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