Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
