Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
