You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
