plz talk dirty to me
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
