and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
