My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
