is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
