Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
