Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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