Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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