and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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