you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
