Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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