no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize