wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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