I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
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