then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i came on her dog
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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