He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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