Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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