Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
