if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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