i permit you to call me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
FUCK WHALES
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
